| 1. |
Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to
articulate what about the situation is not OK.
Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
|
 |
|
| 2. |
Make
a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for
anyone else. |
|
|
| 3. |
Forgiveness
does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that
hurt you, or condoning of their action.
What you are after is to find peace.
Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding
that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking
the life experience
less personally, and changing your grievance story." |
|
|
| 4. |
Get
the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your
primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts
and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended
you or hurt you two minutes - or ten years -ago.
Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings. |
|
|
| 5. |
At
the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management
technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response. |
|
|
| 6. |
Give
up expecting things from other people, or your life
, that
they do not choose to give you.
Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your
health or how you or other people must behave.
Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love,
peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
|
|
|
| 7.
|
Put
your energy into looking for another way to get your positive
goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your
hurt seek out new ways to get what you want. |
|
|
| 8. |
Remember
that a life
well lived
is your best revenge.
Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby
giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn
to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.
Forgiveness is
about personal power. |
|
|
| 9. |
Amend your grievance story
to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive. |
| |
|
| |
The practice
of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression
and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion
and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy
relationships as well as physical health. It also influences
our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and
love. |
